I Have An Obstructed Political View


imageI’d like to take a little time to discuss politics. Let me make it clear that I’m not attempting to promote one certain party over the other. I’d just like to discuss the process in which we choose the leaders of our country. I’ve also been trying to figure out what goes on in our state and federal capitols. They have all of those big buildings with all of those statues and rooms. No wonder nothing gets done. The buildings are way too big. For them, it must be like it was for me on my first year in high school. I picture the first year of their term consisting of wandering the halls trying to find their home room and the following years spent trying to get out of going to class and hitting on the hot cheerleader until they either graduate or become that kid that’s in his junior year with a beard, a car and an impending divorce.

The first thing that I find odd is how we choose our candidates for president and other major offices. Political primaries and campaigns have really gotten out of hand. Imagine if you had to choose your significant other the same way you have to choose your political representatives. Let’s say I’m going to marry a blonde or a brunette, but I just can’t decide. I’m going to put together a group of each. Blondes on the right and brunettes on the left.(get the political symbolism here? Pretty clever, eh?). Each girl in each group spends a lot of time trying to convince me that the other girls within that group are no good instead of telling me how great they are for me. They’re going to spend all of my money, never get a job or contribute around the house, they’ve never had a successful relationship and will break every one of their promises(keeping in mind that there’s one redhead sitting quietly, in the corner, representing the independent party and no one including me are paying any attention to her, even though she’s probably the best choice for a wife). Once I choose the best girl from each group, which is difficult, because all they did was trash each other, I get to start the process all over again and choose from the two remaining girls. Meanwhile, all of the blondes and brunettes who spent time telling me how terrible the girl I ended up choosing from their group was, are now telling me I should definitely marry the girl I chose from their group, because she’s so sweet, nice and will treat me right. It’s very confusing and frustrating to have to choose from these two girls as they now begin to point out the other’s faults. I’ll probably end up not picking either and just think about the independent candidate, in the shower.

I’m also trying to figure out this Daylight Savings Time thing that the government makes us participate in, twice a year. DST has been around since ancient times. It was originally brought up in the United States by Ben Franklin, as a joke in an article he wrote, where he said people could make better use of their time if they got up with the sun. Much like the blondes mentioned above, it took well over a hundred years for the United States government to get that joke. Franklin Roosevelt instated DST in 1942 and “We the People” have been struggling through it ever since. I’m not sure what the point of this is, especially since we have these new fangled contraptions called lights that illuminate both the in and outdoors. I’d like to know what the government does with the hour they take away in the spring! Are these hours sitting in a closet somewhere or is the government wasting them like our tax dollars on fancy dinners and high priced trips to Hawaii and Arizona(the only states smart enough to not participate in this evil tradition) Maybe we could get each state governor to sit down at a big table and play one huge game of Texas Hold Em’ with the pot being filled with the 48 hours they rob us of every March. One crafty state governor(not that any politician would be comfortable gambling with things that aren’t theirs or bluffing to get what they want) will end up with two extra days every November! Imagine, you go to bed on Saturday night and when you get up the next morning it’s the previous Friday! It makes just as much sense as anything else about Daylight Savings Time.

Politics seems to be a source of tension anytime it is discussed between the two opposing sides, even in the most informal of settings. I try not to discuss it in public, because each side thinks the other is wrong and there’s no convincing them otherwise. My parents taught me that conflicts can be solved calmly and intelligently. Politicians have taught me that any conflict can be solved by telling everyone that your opponent flew to Aruba with his secretary on his boss’ credit card, while his wife was in bed with a difficult pregnancy. It seems like an extreme way to settle an argument over a game of Monopoly, but that’s what happens when my grandpa lands on Park Place and won’t pay me my $400. I guess, I just hope that at some point the process changes to us getting to choose the best representatives for our country, instead of us having to choose the best of the worst.

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About: Ted Snyder

I'm just a guy who loves the simple things in life. I play bass, love craft beer and enjoy all things horror. I spend my time walking or hiking with my dog, going out to restaurants, bars and to see local bands . I stay up late and get up early. My idea of a great time is sitting on the shore of any body of water and having a beer.

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