Grammar is not your father’s mother!
I think it’s time I speak out against bad grammar. Scrolling through Facebook and other social media sites, I am constantly bombarded with poor punctuation, misspellings and the dreaded THEN and THAN controversy. I am making it my quest to put a stop to this problem. I’m no hero, I’m just a regular guy with a mask and a cape who loves words.
Here are some hints to help you out. THEN is used for time and THAN is used for comparison. Example: I told my girlfriend that her sister was prettier THAN her, THEN she hit me with a shoe. YOU’RE is a contraction of YOU and ARE, YOUR shows possession. Example: I said to my girlfriend, “YOU’RE the hottest girl I know, except for YOUR sister.” TOO means also, TWO is a number and TO shows destination. Example: I said to my girlfriend, “Can I take your sister TO a bar and buy her TWO shots of Tequila? You can come, TOO, if you want.” IT’S is a contraction of IT and IS, ITS show possession. Good taste and censorship stops me from providing an example for that one.
Well, my job is done, for now. I shall put away my mask and cape, but never fear! I will always be there in a grammar emergency! Just call me if you need any help. I have a lot of free time, now that I’m single. I’ll be there in a flash, unless you’re with my girlfriend’s sister. I’m not allowed within five hundred feet of her.
About: Ted Snyder
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