Beer: A Love Letter
There isn’t much in this world that I love more than good beer. There’s just something about a pint glass of freshly poured ale that makes me smile. I’m not outwardly emotional, but I have been known to shed a tear after going into a pub and being presented with a beer list, because there are too many different kinds for the bartender to name.
Now, I know that craft beer is the new “cool thing to do” for the younger generation. I’m here to tell you that I have been assaulting my liver with good beer for twenty years. I have searched out craft beer in states up and down the east coast and as far west as Idaho. I hope to cover the entire United States on a craft beer excursion some day, but finding a designated driver for that is more difficult than I had imagined. Apparently, the offer of five dollars in gas money just doesn’t have the same cache as it once did.
Let’s make it clear. I am a connoisseur of beer, not a beer snob. The difference being, a snob will act like he is better than the average beer drinker and will take the opportunity to point out that fact to anyone with a light beer in their hand. On the other hand, a connoisseur knows that his tastes are more sophisticated, but he also knows that calling attention to that fact has the potential to have him wake up naked in the back of a pickup truck, in the middle of a field with only an empty case of PBR cans from which to fashion rudimentary loin cloth. Everyone has their right to enjoy the beverage of their choice. Beer, much like women, is all about the taste, aroma and finding one that doesn’t make you feel sick the next morning. I don’t look down on those who enjoy the mass produced, corporate conglomerate beers that spend more money on advertising and cool looking cans than actually making a good tasting beer.(although that statement sure does make it seem otherwise) You like what you like and that’s fine. I never understood the light beer drinkers who will look at my pint of Amber Ale or Vanilla Porter and say, “How can you drink that crap?” Thats tantamount to asking a guy driving a brand new corvette why he would want to drive that piece of junk, as you get into your rusty 1996 Ford Taurus with the cracked windshield and starting it up with the screwdriver you leave buried in the dashboard.
Don’t get me wrong, when the craft is not available, I will imbibe in a mass produced beer. While craft beer is my favorite, there are several other kinds of beer I enjoy. Unexpected beer, Sunday beer, stadium beer and free beer are some of my favorites. Those are all better than no beer. I don’t partake in nonalcoholic brews. That’s like going to a strip club just to listen to the music. Boobs, much like monkeys and alcohol, make everything better. I know a lot of people drink light beer, because they like the taste of beer, but don’t want all of the extra calories. To that, I say, if you really enjoy beer and want to lose weight, just drink enough beer so that you pass out before dinner time.
Now that craft beer has become trendy, it can be found almost anywhere. The mall has brew pubs. There are microbreweries popping up all over the place. Even convenience stores now carry a wide selection craft bottles. Although, the Specialty Beer Store located in every city within twenty miles of a college, is my favorite. I usually go to those places and look around with the wide eyed wonder of a child on his first trip to Disneyland. Obviously, I prefer the beer store to Disneyland. There’s no chance of me getting drunk at Disneyland on less than thirty dollars. Trust me, I’ve tried. It usually costs around sixty bucks, not to mention the fine for attempting to start a fight with Abraham Lincoln in The Hall of Presidents, because he was hitting on your girlfriend.
No matter your taste, beer can be a great way to spend an afternoon, evening, vacation or adulthood. Tip one back whenever you get the chance and always remember to drink responsibly. For me, that means no spilling. Slainte!
About: Ted Snyder
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