Romance Is In The Air!

 

imageIt’s that special day that generally gets us guys in trouble. No, not Sunday, but Valentines Day! That time when new relationships and old ones are tested with whatever crazy (or I mean romantic) ideas the women in our lives come up with … I can tell you from experience that the phrase, “It’s almost as cold outside as it is in your heart” is not the best way to start out your romantic day. I do, however, have a few ideas that might be of some assistance to the men who struggle with romance.

I know that a lot of people think breakfast in bed is romantic, but I’m not on board with that. I believe eating in bed should be reserved for the addled and bedridden. Cooking for your significant other is always a way to make her feel special, but we all know that serving breakfast in bed was only invented so while she eats, we men have time to hide the six bowls, four pans, countless utensils and the broken food processor attachments that we used to make scrambled eggs with toast. (Quick hint for the ladies: look in the bottom cupboard or possibly a pillowcase tossed haphazardly in the snowbank out front for your good cookware) Instead of breakfast in bed, take her out to brunch. This has an effect that’s twofold: 1) ladies, for whatever reason love brunch. 2) It gives you a chance to sleep in and rest up for the three minutes of bliss you intend to provide her later tonight.

Now, flowers used to be a winner, every time, but times have changed. Some women are not that into flowers. I had a girlfriend who said she didn’t like flowers, because they were pretty for a while, but eventually they whither and die. My response of, “I feel the same way when I look at you” was not met with the laughter that I had hoped for … Instead of flowers, get her a blank card and write something from the heart in it. Girls eat that stuff up as long as you make a better effort than an elementary school kid. Sloppy penmanship and clumsily constructed metaphors only work when you’re seven, but a stick figure drawing with huge boobs is always a winner. All you have to do is write something, besides your name. I was never a fan of cards with a printed message in them, because nothing says romance like signing your name to a heartfelt message written by a stranger who was paid by the word.

This is my favorite idea, ever and we can all thank Oprah for promoting this years ago. No, it’s not massive quantities of chocolate. I’m talking about a journal. Give your special lady a journal. Why, you ask? It’s simple. The ladies will find it thoughtful and insightful on your part (thank you, Oprah). Women have oogy things, called emotions and unlike us, they do not like to bottle them up and release them once a year at a Superbowl party or during a drunken outburst over the backyard fence, while your neighbor is having a family reunion. Plus, this will give her an outlet to express these emotions on paper, instead of in your ear. Just be sure to never open that journal, unless you want to release the demons, because as we all know, the soul of a woman can also be a portal to hell.

Romance isn’t difficult. Sometimes all you have to do is remember, show her you care and put forth an effort. You can do all of this in one day, which is exhausting or intermittently, throughout the year, which can really help you out when you screw up later and you WILL screw up. If you want to try it all at one time, do this. Remember: remember to make reservations at a nice restaurant before the morning of Valentines Day. Care: care enough to tell her how special she is and tell her she looks good, even though you didn’t notice or care that she bought a new outfit just for today. Effort: make a concerted effort to not look down the shirt of the hot waitress at Applebee’s (which is where you’ll end up when you forget it’s Valentine’s Day).

These tips are bound to get you in good with your gal, whether you’ve been together for two months or twenty years. Always remember, Valentines Day isn’t a holiday for you. It’s a holiday where the man buys gifts to make his lady feel special and the lady buys herself a nice outfit, so she can look good for her man. Why? …because she knows you’re going to try to make up for everything you’ve done wrong since the last time you did something right.

 

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About: Ted Snyder

I'm just a guy who loves the simple things in life. I play bass, love craft beer and enjoy all things horror. I spend my time walking or hiking with my dog, going out to restaurants, bars and to see local bands . I stay up late and get up early. My idea of a great time is sitting on the shore of any body of water and having a beer.

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