Fear Blocks Joy – An Amazing Lesson


2016-02-18-19.32.03-e1456765354914Our emotions are the pathway to freedom. I have coached hundreds of people and many of them have one thing in common, a lack of knowledge of what to do with unexpressed emotion. So many of us are taught that it’s either not safe or not OK to express our emotions. My goal is to teach as many people as possible how to cope with and express emotions in a healthy way. My first coach and mentor, Carol Reynolds, taught that there are five naturally occurring emotions: anger, grief, fear, joy and excitement.

I have the honor and privilege of working with awesome people every day in my coaching practice. I have permission to share a story that touched my heart recently in a session with a young girl. I was blown away by this girl’s insight and courage. We were coaching on healthy expression of emotion and discussing how if emotions are not expressed they are stored in the body and can create dis-ease.

My young client’s assignment was 3 steps.

Client drawing of what happens to the human body when emotions are rejected or dismissed.

First I asked her to draw her body.

2016-02-18-19.31.22Next, I had her assign a color to each of the naturally occurring emotions.

Finally, I asked her to close her eyes and to find in her body where she stores each of these emotions.

What this girl created is brilliant and true for many of us. She drew what happens to the human body when emotions are rejected or dismissed. She wanted to start with Joy and placed joy in her head and in her heart. Fear came next, and I was astonished at where she placed it. She shaded grey fear around yellow joy. Fear blocks joy. How true for so many of us. (Did you get goosebumps? I did!). I learned so much from my young client. I congratulate her mother for getting her into coaching early so that she has a chance at knowing how to cope with and navigate her emotions from an early age. Fear is real and it doesn’t have to stop or paralyze anyone.

When you feel fear try these 3 tips:


Ask yourself, “What would I do if I wasn’t scared?”

Release your fear by taking one action step that moves you closer to hope. (Write, draw, talk to a friend, exercise)

I encourage everyone to get a coach, therapist or mentor to support you in learning how to release your emotions in a healthy way.

Feel everything.


About Rebeccah: Rebeccah Silence is a certified life coach and music therapist with a master’s degree in counseling and extensive background in addiction recovery, school counseling and adult psychotherapy. As owner of Inspired Results, she provides trainings, facilitation and coaching all over the country, but runs her private practice out of Whitesboro. She is locally known as the relationship guru doling out free expert coaching every Tuesday morning on KISS-FM for Confession Tuesdays. Silence specializes in corporate trainings, couples counseling and one-on-one life coaching. Have a question for Rebeccah? Email her for Ask Rebeccah atrebeccahsilence@gmail.com.

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